Being The Victim

My Focus' damaged wing mirror without its plastic cover.

Recently, I was the victim of a crime. A crime, I suspect, many car owners have suffered. Tucked up in bed on a frosty night, I heard an almighty crack outside, followed by the skittering of what sounded like plastic on tarmac and then a hastily stoked engine. Something inside my brain somehow recognised it as the sound of two wing mirrors coming together, but another part of my onboard computer – the lazy side – was in denial the commotion outside could possibly involve my car. And so I went back to sleep.

Of course, after waking up the next morning, the reality of the situation hit me like a slap across the face, and I cursed myself for not jumping out of bed and peeping through the curtains, to see just what exactly had gone on in the night.

Up on the kerb across from my house, my Ford’s driver’s side wing mirror looked, well, odd. Relieved of its Sea Grey cover, the ugly, black, hole strewn plastic innards were exposed. And things got worse lower down – the indicator lense strip had vanished, leaving the orange indicator bulb dangling in the air, and the black plastic body which attaches to the car was askew and shard like. Bollocks!

Quickly dressed and muttering yet more expletives, I wandered across to my car, the victim, and surveyed the damage at close quarters. This didn’t help things, nor my mood. Then I noticed my car’s body coloured wing mirror cover lying in the gutter, completely in tact. The indicator strip was nearby, although hadn’t fared so lucky and was cracked badly.

And then I spotted the perpetrator’s mirror glass, smashed but still within its surprisingly small frame. Evidence. I even managed to recover the criminal’s manual mirror adjuster springs, which had obviously shot out of their mounts on impact. More evidence. And so began my fruitless prowling to catch the bastard that defaced my car. I live on a quiet and rather lovely housing estate, so I figured I had a good chance of finding the vehicle, but sadly, it was not to be.

Removing this tweeter speaker exposed the wing mirror bolts.

Out of this whole sorry episode, small consolation came in the form of pure, unbelievable luck. After being quoted a ridiculous £217 for a complete new wing mirror unit from Ford, and trawling eBay without a satisfying result – I didn’t fancy paying £55 for an aftermarket item that may or may not look the same as the passenger side OE wing mirror – as I last resort, I tried Gumtree. Tapping in the area I wanted to search, almost immediately popped up an ad for a complete and fully functioning, driver’s side wing mirror for a facelifted Ford Focus II. It had a silver cover but that didn’t matter because I could just swap it for mine which had somehow survived its brush with death. Best of all, this replacement was going for just £30.

This connector plug was a bugger to take out of its socket.

A seedy meeting with the seller three days later, and two hours of labour (it would have been 45 minutes had I not dropped a connecting plug into the door, necessitating the door card’s removal to extract it), and I had a car with two, fully formed ears again.

What have I learned from all of this? Firstly, that you should always tuck your car’s wing mirrors in, no matter how quiet the road you’ve parked on looks, and that you should never trust your neighbours. If indeed that is who got too close to my pride and joy. I also discovered, much to my surprise, that salvage companies aren’t that cheap – the best online quote I received for a complete Focus II mirror was £52. And I had no clue what it looked like.

Replacement wing mirror fitted, complete with old Sea Grey cover.

But perhaps the most shocking revelation of all, is that I am completely powerless to bring this criminal to justice – because that’s what they are, after all. I had the time and date the collision happened (about 4am on January 16 2013), I had evidence in the form of the wing mirror and adjusting springs, but no car or indeed motorbike, and no driver to pin them to.

I’ve put it all behind me now, though, and on a plus note I’ve learned another DIY job on my car, potentially saving me precious beer tokens in future. But not too soon, I hope, as there aren’t any replacement OE wing mirrors on Gumtree right now.